Situations that make you grow

By: Maria Angelica Zuluaga

Prose: Diary Entry

Choice: Creative

Dear diary:

I know I did not use this as much as I did before, but what happens left me limp and until today I had the strength to write and count all the situations I have been through, the circumstances surrounding the recent years of my life had led me a sad expression.

You know that I spent almost the totality of my youth in Jacksonville. My parents had worked there, and it felt it like home to me. Every summer, we would take a month off to go visit my family in West Palm Beach. In fact, my parents were both native of West Palm Beach.

Throughout my childhood, they had often talked about moving "back home", but I never thought the plan would materialize. It always felt like it was their fantasy, something that they would always talk about, but that they would never actually do.

However, a little more than a year ago, my mother lost her job. After that, the decision was quick; they were going to move to West Palm Beach, and I was coming with them. The whole suddenness of the decision threw me off guard. l had not expected this to happen, and I had not planned ahead. I did not want to move there. My friends, my life and my heart were in Jacksonville.

However, I did not have enough money to move out, which I gladly would have done. Essentially, I had no choice but to follow my parents until I was old enough and had saved up enough to live on my own.

Often, I wonder what would have happened if they had waited a year or two. I probably could have stayed in Jacksonville, I was defeated by the circumstances of the moment and I was left helpless, staring at the floor with not a happy expression.

Even now, it still feels as if I left my heart in Jacksonville. I'm hoping I'll be able to move back there in a year. That city is my home, and I think it will stay that way for the rest of my life, much the same way my parents never felt like Jacksonville was home. When I look back, I find it funny how I didn't realize how much I was leaving behind until I had turned my back to everyone and everything I had known since my childhood. The circumstances of my departure left me feeling bitter and unwilling to start all over again.

However, my bitterness and resentment were purely self-destructive. Instead of enjoying my first few months in West Palm Beach, l spent them thinking about how my life would be had I not moved. l wasted precious months of my life, and I will never get them back.

This experience has taught me that it is important not to live on horrible and inevitable circumstances in my life, because reflecting on them and resenting them can only bring you bitterness and sadness. In order to be happy, one must ignore the constraints of circumstance and move on, making the most out of every moment. I learnt it the hard way  

14.05.2013